on limerence

the invisible spaces between us are not empty, but charged

Limerence is not just an incredibly delightful word. The term, coined by psychologist Dorothy Tennov in the late 1970s, describes a sensation that you may have experienced: the state of complete, involuntary, attachment to another human being.¹ This sort of infatuation most often occurs romantically, dissolving soon after it starts. It’s more and more common to hear about the brain cocktail that fuels nascent attraction: dopamine triggered by the chase, oxytocin from touch and trust, serotonin with the pursuit of relationship ‘status’. This is run-of-the-mill stuff, but limerence — although there are degrees of overlap — is more than a crush. It can linger into something more acute — a near-obsessive pining for someone; a longing for reciprocation of said pining; a dependence on being in a state of longing; a deep, bodily buoyancy when reciprocation is given and an unforgiving, chest-filled pain when it seems uncertain; the capacity to rose-tint toxic elements of another into something positive.